MADAM,
YOUR receiving and publishing the letters of other people, when without foreign assistance your Museum would be much more to the pleasure of your readers, shews that you resemble your predecessor, Mr. Bickerstaff, no less in candour than in wit; and now occasions this address to you, from an old maid, owes who no other favour to fortune than a noble birth, which, as it happened many years ago, intitled me to a good education; and produced me an agreeable reception for certain periods of time, among many families of my great relations; here as it was safest, I always preserved the character of a spectator only, in all domestic occurences: this has enabled me to judge a little to what effect the first principles, either inculcated in young minds, or taken up by them have upon their manners and conduct in maturer years.
The letter in the month of May signed W. M. after affirming that all women, and (for ought he knows all men) think grandeur and happiness synonomous terms, remarks with more justice, that the polite accomplishments are too promiscuously aimed at by all degrees of people for their daughters; but does not assign (in my humble opinion) the real, and more material reasons against it, but turns back to his first proposition, and displays the wide difference there is between riches, power, and titles, and heart-felt satisfaction: where I shall leave him at free liberty, to gather as many flowers as he pleases, out of so well stocked a garden as he has chosen to walk in; and only make some additional observations on the education of young ladies.
It has been my misfortune to see quite the reverse of what that gentleman complains of; not insignificant girls taught too much, but great ladies taught too little.
When I was about five and thirty, my cousin german, the countess of —, desired me to come and pass a year with her, in which she proposed going to Spa; and as her daughters were too young, she said, to be any amusement to her, she would leave them behind her. My situation in life, and inclinations for travelling, made me very readily accept her offer: and I took leave of my good aunt, Mrs. Ashgrove, who was almost as much delighted as myself with what she saw pleased, and hoped might be of service to me.
When I came to town, I was very much surprised to see two fine girls, the one about twelve, and the other ten, that did not open their mouths before their mother, and as I soon found very seldom saw her. My cousin was a very fine lady, dressed perfectly well, and gave the most elegant entertainments; she frequented the drawing-room every court-day, and generally preceded two assemblies, by a play, or opera, in the evening. My day was far advanced before hers began, who gave me an opportunity to see more of my young relations than she did. I observed they had about them a very ordinary Swiss woman, who was called their French governess: she treated them with insolence, and taught them a jargon no body else could understand. Their only reading was the news-papers, when the upper servants had done with them; as for writing or dancing, it was thought they were too young, and that their acquaintance with any of their own rank would only make them impatient, and wish for more liberty than their mother cared to give them. On talking to them, I found they did not want understanding; but was so perverted with the knowledge of their birth, and feeling of their slavery, that they were continually insulting, or insulted by the domestics they were obliged to converse with. The eldest had a great spirit, and was always saying, that when she married she would keep her servants in subjection, and no person should dare, tho’ ever so great, to be impertinent to her. She always listened with great relish to any reflections made on her mother’s conduct, in regard to the neglect of her children; which, to flatter the young ladies, the lower people would sometimes throw out, and treasured up a sufficient quantity of disobedience and contempt for her parents, whenever she should have an opportunity of shewing it. The youngest was of a gentler nature: she submitted to her fate, and made court to her mother’s woman, whenever she wanted, or wished for a new cap, or a new coat, and to the groom of the chambers for lemonade and cakes, on those assembly nights which she spent above stairs.
I could not but grieve to see two creatures, that might have been the blessing of the countess’s declining years, merely by her own fault, give such dreadful indications of proving the contrary. I endeavoured all I could to persuade her to carry them with us to Spa, which I knew would break thro’ their present course of life, and force her to grow a little more acquainted with them, and they to be more informed what behaviour suited them: but it was all in vain. They were aukward hoydening things, she said, and so young, there was no making any thing of them.
Some years after, I heard that the eldest, being left at her father’s country-seat, while he and her mother made a visit into a distant country, had run away with, and married an officer that came to raise recruits in the neighbourhood; and the younger had the next year a child by the butler.
Now, madam, is it not obvious to you, I am sure it was to me, that had both been better taught, better they would have acted? I must add, this gay, this accomplished woman, had both a sense of honour and chastity; and in a few weeks after the last misfortune I mentioned happened in the family, died of a broken heart. Oh, had she had religion enough to have taught it to her daughters! both by example and precept, might they not have repaid her ten fold, in gratitude and filial love? Had they learned their own and other languages in proper books, how delightfully might their time have been employed, in reading the stories of all ages and countries, where truth and propriety of conduct is proved to be our only happiness; and vice and folly, however long they totter on, are sure to fall, from whence they never can emerge again. Had she introduced them properly into the world, and given them the accomplishments suitable to the figure they ought to have made in it, might she not, like my lady Harvest (to whom I have the honour to stand in the same relation) have lived in continual thankfulness to the Almighty for preserving her, to find a new spring of joy revive in the autumn of her days, by seeing her children practise the prudent and tender virtues of a wife, and mother, fill the station of great ladies with dignity in themselves, obliging and entertaining conversation with their equals, kind and generous offices (without affected condescension) to their less prosperous acquaintance, humanity to their servants, and universal benevolence to all their fellow creatures.
Believe me, ’tis not ignorance, but knowledge, that produces these characters in life.
I am, madam, Your sincere admirer And humble servant, AGNES WOODBINE.