MADAM,
IF the title of a literary performance contributes much to excite the curiosity of the public, I can well suppose that the Trifler is eagerly perused by all the bright eyes of the kingdom; for surely a greater consonancy between the title of this essay and the present complection of females, cannot well be imagined.—For to what end or use do the multiplied branches of female education serve, but to trifle gracefully and agreeably? This is the true sçavoir vivre, so happily and universally taught by those valuable people, the French governesses, all over this great metropolis: for surely no other persons can pretend, with equal justice, to give people of fashion that charming air and those enchanting manners which alone can make them look like themselves. Did our young gentlemen enjoy the benefit of instruction equally salubrious, I should hope, that in a little time they might learn to trifle away their courage and honesty, almost as happily as the French themselves seem to have done.
Nor let it derogate in the least from the present approved system of things, that in the fervid pursuit of higher attainments, the ladies may very possibly less attend to duty, character, reputation, than some Cynical persons have been willing to approve of. Surely such mean insinuations could only be suggested by those whose exploded nonsense has totally disqualified them for the society of the triflers—And really was the accusation well founded, I don’t see what blame could justly lie upon us, who have never been taught to set the least value on moral obligations.
In how much more pleasing a light have we been instructed to consider the scope and design of our being? We have at length happily resolved it into one general principle, that of being delightfully idle.
In order to support the consistency of our character, give me leave to descend to a few particulars. If a lady spends her whole life in fretful dissipation, is it not plain, that she considers her time, for the use of which some have fancied themselves accountable, as a meer trifle?
If another considers cards as the true consolation of life, and consequently makes them the sole business of it, supposing even that she is unsuccessful, no matter by what compensations she ballances her accounts; her losses in any way, can only be considered as meer trifles.
If a third, by the kind assistance of foreign tuition, has been happily extricated from the restraints of modesty, delicacy, virtue, and religion, these omissions ought surely to be considered as so many negative advantages, and their value placed to our account. For it is well known, that those exploded qualities which are now not worth a dispute, were only held in great reverence in remarkably simple times.
However, we are happily accomplished out of all those simplicities, and have substituted in their room such opinions as have raised us above all vulgar fears and prejudices—Hence it is, that we have left the sense and love of religion to be embraced only by those who are no longer loved by any body. Let such as want the solid supports of fashion, luxury, gallantry, and fifty et cetera’s, take refuge in such aerial meditations: for our part, we shall take care to enjoy the substance, and leave to those disappointed wretches the shadow.
As to the churches, I can’t say what sort of people attend them, as neither I or any of my acquaintance ever go there; but, in the way of curiosity and pleasure, we sometimes visit the methodist conventicles; and there thro’ the whole auditory there obtains so visible a distraction, that we have always considered those deluded people as much more the objects of compassion than contempt.
I have often thought it extremely well judged in the government to tolerate such places; for they must considerably lessen the number of mad-houses. With such invariable constancy do we persevere in our opinions, that our whole life may be considered as one uniform trifle; and, unless we should be encumbered by a few brats, can it be said of any of us, when we quit the scene, that we have left any monuments of our existence?
A tender regard for the honor, laws, and religion of one’s country, are considerations which only can affect narrow souls; but (thanks to the dear foreigners who direct our education) we have been taught to consider things in a more elevated sense, and to respect the interest of our very national enemies at least as much as our own, and universally to prefer those people to our own natives.
There is one discovery in particular that does infinite honour to our society, and which for the credit of the sisterhood, I must beg leave a little to enlarge upon—I mean our discovery of the true sources of pleasure and happiness. These objects were heretofore supposed to be best attained by following nature, and to be inseparably connected with reason and duty. Pleasure, truly so called, had formerly been considered as a very natural thing, and some unintelligible stuff, named virtue, as the only safe road to happiness—But we have undeceived the world in these particulars, and have taught them to look for their happiness where none but ourselves ever dreamed it could be found.
In short, we have fixed its basis in the extinction of all reasonable ideas, and, to enjoy life the more perfectly, have fairly consented to lose sight of all the ends of living. This grand principle pervades the whole sphere of our activity, and our conduct affords the most ample attestation of our opinions.—Let others, if they please, look up to causes, and consider consequences; it is sufficient for us, that we appear of consequence in the eyes of the world.
Nor are we in the least disconcerted by the invidious remarks of those who would insinuate, that we are not quite so happy as we would seem to be; and that, notwithstanding our continual efforts to appear highly pleased, there is still a dismal vacuity in our minds.
However that may be, there is at least an equal vacuity in those understandings who have made that remark, not to know, that we live only for appearances; and that to be, or to seem only, are pretty much the same thing with the whole race of triflers.
Nay, to a still higher heroism have we carried our ideas on this subject, that, with a magnanimity peculiar to ourselves, we have exchanged realities for appearances, and have lost all pleasure, merely for pleasure’s sake. Let others ridiculously estimate their happiness by their own consciousness, while we wisely measure ours by the opinions of other people, which must always be in our favour so long as
to appear we strive,
The most contented things alive.
I can’t conclude this letter, without lamenting the great detriment our society have suffered by the conduct of Miranda. This lady, you know, is the sworn enemy of all triflers, and the business of her whole life has been to discredit our opinions. Perverse creature! not to have yielded to the conviction which numbers, fashion, and raillery scarcely ever fail to impress.
Her obstinacy is the more to be lamented, as from an unusual concurrence of circumstances her influence happens to be very extensive. Happy for us there are few Miranda’s; for if we may judge from this one, half a dozen such would be sufficient to destroy the credit of our society. Never was there so ungrateful a creature! would you believe it? though nature has been extremely kind to her, in the distribution of personal charms, she never was so much as suspected to be sensible of the obligation. It is very plain that this must be the case; for had she been duly thankful for nature’s liberality, she would, like the rest of us, have solely relied upon it, and never so far affronted her beauty, as to endeavour to please by any other merit whatsoever.
We have great reason to wish, that nature in this instance had spared her bounty; for her charms always create an attention, which she never fails to improve to our prejudice. However, there is one consolation left; as Miranda is yet single, and the men almost all of our party, who knows but the race may become extinct?
This lady, I am told, among other singularities, pretends to have opinions of her own; and that she makes reason, and not ridicule, the criterion by which she examines their truth. Some of her notions are so extraordinary as to deserve being related. She thinks that moral virtue, on its true basis religion, is the only sure and permanent object of esteem; and that whatever purifies the heart does likewise embellish the manners, and even raises the genius. She cannot comprehend why a rational creature should be ashamed of its reason, or blush to acknowledge a pleasure in cultivating it.
She is of opinion that a woman of sense is a character not inferior to a woman of fashion, and, with an extravagant ambition, has united both in her own person. I have here only given you a small specimen of her notions, which are such, you see, as leave us slender hopes of reclaiming her.
Indeed were her opinions simply proposed to the understanding, or to the desires, which judge much better, they are so repugnant to the present modes both of thinking and acting, that they must be inevitably rejected, as our custom is, without any examination at all. But things will appear very different, seen through different mediums. There are certain women who carry in their own persons a demonstration of their opinions. Of that number is Miranda, who besides has got such a way of colouring things, and of recommending her notions by manners the most insinuating, and a behaviour so sweetly feminine, that I really begin to fear her impressions must be irresistible. You know, my dear, every body is not fortified as we are, and the girl has so imposing a way, she certainly will continue to do much mischief. Let us not however be intimidated by so dangerous an enemy, but unite more vigorously in our common defence. The annals of all ages are in our favour; for at what place or period could nature and reason prevail over folly and vanity?
I shall further observe, for our encouragement, that the world never fails to applaud the time and pains which are devoted to the service of the triflers. Upon this consideration I hope you will excuse the trouble occasioned by this long letter, from your
Affectionate Sister,
and Servant,
ANOETA.